How many roles do you have? Are you the Uber Driver? Chef? Personal Assistant? Caregiver for kids? Shopper? Housekeeper? Chief Financial Officer? Emotional Support? Cheerleader? Psychologist? Landscaper? Caregiver for parents? Confidant? Wait, now insert your career title ____________!
Like many women, we tend to have numerous responsibilities that we juggle and do the best that we possibly can. We are always there and available no matter how busy or how late it is. This trait is what makes women so powerful and strong!
I recall a male friend stating to me that I did not have time to take care of a dear friend in his last few months of life and also it was not my responsibility. I understood that he was trying to protect/caution me, but I could not relate to his perspective. To me, if I am not there for those moments then why am I here at all. This opened my mind to the fact that women get the job done no matter what the cost because we are NURTURERS.
BUT who nurtures the nurturer?
Who is making sure that you are getting the time, attention and emotional support that you need and deserve? That is the challenge to you is for you to be present and available you need to ensure that you are being nourished and recharged. That sounds selfish, doesn’t it? It is time to turn that mind thought around and truly take care of self so that you can be at your best.
So what can you do?
First, ask the question, “At times do you feel overwhelmed?” It’s OK to have needs; I know I do. Next, decide who in your immediate world you can reach out to for nurturing. In some cases, there may be no obvious choice to fill this role for you. That’s OK, too. There is still you, and you have a powerful position. You can allocate some of the time you are using to nurture others and reserve it for yourself. IT IS CRITICAL for success!
Set aside some you-time for an exercise or yoga class or a nature walk or for reading a book. Maybe it is eating lunch with a friend. Perhaps you do two 15-minute meditations by yourself. Or take a long warm bath with magnesium bath salts. Get a good night’s sleep! My favorite thing to do is to sing out loud like a rock star!
OR maybe… it’s going to a spa and finding a few minutes of calm with a massage or facial that is truly about you. On a daily basis, I see women coming in pre-occupied or unhappy and leaving with a peaceful smile. That is one of the real benefits of my career!
What you do isn’t the goal. It’s taking time to restore yourself and your “self,” to focus on you and not on your entire world. Remember even the nurturer needs to be nurtured.
Lori Vargas, Spa Vargas Wellness founder, entrepreneur, spa consultant, mother, ironman triathlete
Lori Vargas founded Spa Vargas Wellness in 2001 and currently has 3 locations in the Chicagoland area. Since then, she founded Vargas Consulting with projects that include Hilton, Sheraton, Wyndham, and Key Lime Cove, and in 2009, the International Massage and Spa Academy. Based on her experience in the spa industry, the curriculum focuses on educating students to become business minded nurturing massage therapists. As a mother of two boys, Lori strives to create a balanced life and is always in the pursuit of living in the present. “My children have become my inspiration, and I am grateful to them for the happiness they have brought to my life. Of course, we have a dog, two cats, two parakeets and three fish, so our home is not a tranquil environment!.